Sunday, February 15, 2009

Daytona 500: Will Mark Martin Get "The Call"?



"The Call" is as much a part of NASCAR lore as, say, the bootlegging roots of Junior Johnson or the infamous mean steak of Dale Earnhardt Sr.

Or even the mysteriously-sanitized mustache of Jeff Gordon when he was in his short-lived good ol' boy phase as a rookie.

FOX Sports' Ryan McGee explained the conspiracy here. Basically the premise is simple, a certain team/driver combination will be tipped that NASCAR (the sanctioning body) will essentially look the other way by easing up on the pre- and post-race inspection process, thus allowing said team to cheat in any of the thousands of possible ways, win the race, and reap NASCAR the avalanche of publicity generated by the occasion.

Conspiracy theorists point to Dale Earnhardt's first and only Daytona 500 win, the win by Dale Jr. at Daytona after his father's death, and even Jeff Gordon's "free Pepsi" win of 2004 as documentation of "The Call."

Would NASCAR looking the other way in the inspection process result in a win?

Not unequivocally, but the chance increases on a big track like Daytona in which there are some specific aerodynamic tricks that can aid a car significantly in handling.

There have always been some dubious practices of favoritism in the series slanted towards the larger, innovative teams. A crew member in the (at the time) NASCAR Busch Series (don't even get me started on the musical-chairs of series names) told me a story about the team he was working for buying a race-winning superspeedway car used the previous year by (2000 series champion) Jeff Green. Some of the Bond-style engineering included an umbrella-like handle under the steering wheel that could be pulled to flare the fenders and generate extra downforce, thus handling better in the corners for passing. He said that there was no way such a car would make it through inspection by his own mid-level team, and thus was of little use.

But I digress...I'd rather pick today's race winner in advance - Mark Martin.

It's no surprise that NASCAR is struggling putting fans in seats and sponsors on quarter-panels.

Fatherhood seems to have dulled some of Jeff Gordon's domination instinct, the 3-time Bland Champion Jimmy Johnson has failed to connect with the public in a meaningful way, while Dale Jr. is too busy being Dale Jr. to put in the work necessary to become a consistent race winner.

So, this year it's up to Martin to save the sport, and what better way to start the charge towards his first championship than a win at NASCAR's Super Bowl, which is still awkwardly positioned at the start of the season when half the country still needs an ice breaker to get up their driveways.

So what better way to jump start the season than a feel good story written by the one driver EVERYONE (north, south, east and west) loves?

Martin is the winner without a championship, the veteran without a Daytona trophy. He's affable enough to chat on talk shows, yet still down-home enough to be popular with the traditionalists decrying the current state of the sport.

NASCAR's big-time ambitions hang in the balance. And it is far from the first sport to take matters into it's own hands. Post-strike baseball juiced it's wa

The march to the sports pages and Regis and Kelly has been paved by positive public relations and shrewd stage management of races (like the famous French driver Jacques Debris, bringer of 1001 caution flags). But the public appears to be losing interest quickly, and the sponsors have noticed. Empty stands dot the schedule (Atlanta) and empty bank accounts have driven a record number of teams from the sport.

So take it from me. Martin gets The Call this year. Kellogg's can put him on a Corn Flakes box

At least until Dale Jr. takes NASCAR off call waiting.

Friday, January 2, 2009

The Rolling Stones vs. The Beatles



I think Mick's a joke with all that fag dancing; I always did. I enjoy it; I'll probably go and see his films and all like everybody else, but really, I think it's a joke. - John Lennon


It is one of the great cliches of broadcast media to call the Beatles the "greatest rock band of all time" as if it's not a point of contention.

So I was in a restaurant one night, a nice one in New York and there was a family at the next table. No one was paying attention to anyone else but then I heard - I couldn`t help it - the kid ask his father something. He wanted to know which band was better, the Beatles or the Rolling Stones? Well, I don`t know, says the father. Why don`t you ask him?, meaning me. It made me feel like something out of history. - Mick Jagger, 1982


-The Beatles weren't even a rock band, they were a pop band with a few good rock songs.

The Elvis period was super-rebellious. Because that kind of music was much more shocking than the music of the Beatles - the early Beatles... The sexuality of the early Elvis years was much more shocking to a straight audience than the Beatles` I Want to Hold Your Hand... The wild men - Elvis, Jerry Lee - they were much more scary. So when we`re talking about any `60s break, you have to take that into account. They`d already made this sexual charge. - Mick Jagger, 2007


-The Beatles didn't play live after August 29, 1966 (the impromptu set on the roof of Apple Records for Let It Be doesn't count as a "concert") The Rolling Stones' Bigger Bang tour in 2005 grossed $168 million dollars. Paul McCartney's 2005 tour racked up $83.2 million. McCartney’s “Chaos and Creation in the Backyard” album, like the Stones, generated some of the most enthusiastic reviews he’s received in years but didn’t quite sell enough copies to be certified gold: 450,000 copies. That resulted in revenue of $5.85 million. Still, the 63-year-old ex-Beatle found gold at the concert box office, racking up $77.3 million in ticket sales. Macca's average ticket price: $135.46, topping the Stones but still not the highest average.

-As much as critics point to the Rolling Stones' Their Satanic Majesties Request as a pale imitation of the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, it was the Beatles who sought to appropriate the Stones' controversial image with the "butcher cover" of Yesterday and Today
-The Beatles did not record Beggars Banquet, Let It Bleed, Sticky Fingers and Exile On Main Street in a period of four years.

- Direct Descendants
Beatles: Badfinger, Wings, Julian Lennon, Oasis
Stones: Aerosmith, Hanoi Rocks, Black Crowes

- Embarrassing Moment:
Beatles - John Lennon and Yoko Ono's Two Virgins album cover.
Stones - Mick riding a giant inflatable phallus on the 1975 tour while singing Starfucker




I will expand on this theme more in a bit...just wanted to get the ball rolling.