An Open Letter to Barry Bonds

by Dale Nixon

Dear Barry Bonds,

As you are on the eve of breaking the most cherished record in all of pro sports, I figured this would be as good a time as any to ask if it all was worth it?

You know what I mean (nudge*wink)...

In case you were wondering I've enclosed this wonderful old photo to remind you of what you used to look like when you were the sleek jet of a player that recalled Pittsburgh's greatest player and humanitarian - Roberto Clemente. Not the surly bloated brooding superstar that currently evokes awkward comparisons with Chris Benoit, the other current most celebrated figure of unnatural chemical imbalances.

I mean, where exactly is this record moment going to be celebrated, other than your home stadium with the custom-tailored confines to deposit the ball like a flipped coin in a fountain? That beacon of hyperbole, ESPN, where you have managed to place one of your prime apologists, former manager Dusty Baker, in a prime position to heap awkward praise between nicknames, catch phrases and Mountain Dew commercials?

Surely the record will not be celebrated in Pittsburgh, where you spent the early years of your career and once stole 52 bases while not trucking around the basepaths with that HGH-injected 230-lb frame like an MTA bus.

And I know that fans in Atlanta, where Hammerin' Hank Aaron hit his own epic shot 30-something years ago, will not be lining up to give a parade.

Milwaukee still has the legend of the young Aaron and the shrugged shoulders and smooth toupee of the used-car salesman, Bud Selig, who would become your awkward dance partner as commissioner of baseball.

And in New York, Bob Costas will lead the Greek chorus of those calling foul on your record, all 150-natural-as-a-free-range-chicken-lbs. of him.

What about closer to San Francisco?

Will fans in San Diego, where the Baroid seranade and syringes as lawn jarts came into vogue, suddenly change their tune?

How 'bout Los Angeles, where you travel if the carefully-orchestrated moment does not come at home? Do you honestly think Dodgers fans will swallow 100+ years of Giant hatred to let you take a bow?

Even the cities new to baseball will probably be unsympathetic.

Your ex-girlfriend, Kimberly Bell, living in the house built with undeclared cash income, will certainly not roll out the red carpet in Phoenix. And after Mark McGwire flushed his chances for the Baseball Hall of Fame by giving Congress the silent treatment, I'm sure you won't be anxious to head to Washington, D.C.?

Heck, even Boston might be a preferable destination, what with Curt Schilling still on the disabled list, although you would still run the risk of bumping into former Senator George Mitchell if he comes down from Maine for a game. Even Philadelphia, with a long and distinguished history of open hostility to visiting players, won't be jumping for joy at your accomplishment.

So, don't worry, I'm not asking you to answer this now or even tomorrow, Barry.

Say, maybe 20 years from now, you can look back and shoot me an email or whatever the futuristic communication equivalent will be to let me know. That is, if you are still around. Your father did not make it to 60 before cancer took him. Most doctors agree that a chemistry-set physique will at the very least increase a chance of cancer. Look at all of the Pro Wrestlers and NFL players that have gone before their time. I mean, maybe you can join the Tour de France, where if nothing else your drug-testing evasiveness can provide some inspiration to future champions.

Was it all worth it Barry?

signed,
Dale Nixon

The Red Rocker Cashes In

by Dale Nixon

Poor Sammy Hagar. Reportedly snubbed by the multi-million dollar Van Halen reunion which may or may not be happening this fall...

Forced to open for a wig-wearing, pre-Howard Stern replacement David Lee Roth on a shed tour a few years back.

Multiple-count fashion victim in a countless number of lip-synched 80's hard rock videos.

You couldn't blame the guy if he booked the SS Minnow, bought a case of tequila at the duty-free shop and took the three-hour tour that never ends.

But to put a lemon twist on the old axiom, it's better red than dead for the self-proclaimed Red Rocker.

Somehow ol' Sammy has managed to cash in his B-list rocker status and cash up a check for $80 million from the Italian Campari-Skyy Spirits Group for an 80-percent stake in his Cabo Wabo Tequila operation. Hagar will hold the remaining 20-percent and continue as the public face of the brand as plans are laid to expand in an international direction.

Eighty million spacebucks for a guy whose best-known (though not best) song is I Can't Drive 55. That many pesos will pay for a lot of speeding tickets.

“Hey, I'm a great singer. I'm a great guitar player. I'm a great songwriter. I'm a great performer," Hager understated to Business Week. "But I also have a great tequila that's maybe better than any of that stuff. I'm more proud of it than anything. And it's gotten such attention that my ego is saying I want the whole world to taste this tequila.”

Rockstar plus authentic Mexican tequila plus market share equals profits in the rapidly expanding marketing world of international spirits.

"Sammy has done a fantastic job building the brand, so we are going to obviously spend time with him and work with him to continue our efforts to take the brand to an even larger level, both here in the U.S. and, more important, globally," said Gerry Ruvo, president and CEO of Skyy Spirits.

Ruvo said that Skyy considered Great Britain, Spain, Australia, Southeast Asia, Japan, Germany and Italy as key expansion markets for tequila. Cabo Wabo reportedly sold 147,000 cases in North America last year, making it the second highest-selling premium tequila brand (Patron holds the top spot).

All in all, it sounds like a pretty good deal for Sam. Especially when you consider he won't have to share the stage with Diamond Dave or little Wolfgang.

Rock on.

All is Fair in Sales and Press Releases

by Dale Nixon

“Words cannot describe how excited I am to have the opportunity to work with Thursday again. Thursday is a band that people believe in. They are innovators. They are the voice of a generation. Some bands simply make songs that people like. Other bands thrive on gimmicks. The true artists create something that changes people’s lives. Thursday are true artists. They have a very special and unique magnetism. They are a band that you can believe in at a time when there is not a surplus of bands with any real substance or meaning. ‘Full Collapse’ is an album that has influenced so many bands as well as spearheading an entire musical movement. Working with the band on that pivotal and significant album was magical. Thursday and Victory have done great things together. I am so happy and honored that tradition will continue. Some people might want to call this a sort of homecoming. I simply see it as a reunion of passionate people that have done great things in the past getting the opportunity to do them again. This is something that people can feel good about. And to me, that is the best karma for any relationship,” said Victory Owner Tony Brummel.

Last week, Victory Records and label head Tony Brummel announced a historic, albeit head-scratching, reunion between the embattled indie (most recently, platinum artist Hawthorne Heights has exchanged lawsuits with the label) and ex-patriot rockers Thursday, who had jumped ship in 2002 for the elysian fields and major-label dosh of Island Records.

At the time of the split, the Thursday divorce was acrimonious and well-documented on the band's own website and in message board postings. Victory Records and more often head honcho Brummel were portrayed as heavy-handed opportunists who wanted sustained control of the bands they “built”. The pattern would be repeated as subsequent bands achieved a modicum of success with the Chicago-based label. Brummel's creative control would often be extended to other areas usually reserved for band management including touring and merchandising decisions.

Thursday explained the split in this press release from 2002.

“One label, Island Def Jam, had been coming to our shows since we started touring full time. They had seen us at our worst, they knew at the time that we were not concerned with radio or huge record sales, and they understood that we just wanted to tour and play music. Throughout the entire year various members of the Island staff would come out to shows to tell us that we played well and to show their support for us. Later, they would express interest in working with us. After hearing from several major labels over the past year, and after learning of Tony's dealings with MCA, we decided that it was in our best interest to sign a deal with Island. While our deal with Island is subject to our getting released from Victory Records (which Victory is obligated to do according to the contract), we are confident that we will soon be a part of the Island family.

Victory Records helped us very much. They helped us to make a record and to get it out to people. However, we have realized that we are not and never will be creatively aligned with Tony and his vision for our band and his company. The idea of family is very important to us, members of a family should treat each other in a forthright, honest, respectful and supportive manner. This is not the case with Victory because of the way Tony has acted towards us. We have been deceived, bullied and compromised to an unsatisfactory end. This is not to say that we don't care about members of the Victory staff. We wish them all the luck in the world. We simply want to continue autonomous from Victory. Regarding MCA records, because of their deal with Tony they have now begun to promote "Full Collapse" as if it was their own. However we have had no communication with them and we do not consider ourselves an MCA band. We are looking forward to building a relationship with Island. They have illustrated over the past year that they understand the basis of our band, and they have no intentions of changing the music that we naturally write, record and perform. Neither do we.”


Former label mates Hawthorne Heights called Brummel "a man whose greed knows no bounds."

"Our departure is anything but amicable," the band wrote on their website. "Tony Brummel is a man that cares more about his ego and bank account than the bands themselves."

Now comes word that Thursday is scheduled to release a CD/DVD retrospective through Victory October 30, according to the press release it will contain three “new” tracks along with a number of demos and rarities.

On the surface, it appears as if Brummel and Victory are looking to mend fences (acrimonious splits also occurred with label-jumping heavies Taking Back Sunday, Atreyu, and the aforementioned Hawthorne Heights) and indie credibility; re-signing (note the hyphen) the universally-respected Thursday would seem to fit both agendas.

“Friends!!! We have some exciting news!!! We know that everyone is wondering what is next for us (New Label? New Record? Touring? Breaking up?). We're proud to announce that we will be releasing a DVD/CD on our former label, Victory Records. Surprise! A lot of the footage from this DVD was taken during the time we spent on Victory and we thought it was appropriate to release it with them. On a more personal note, many of you know that our parting with Victory was bitter on both sides and we're taking this chance to put that behind us. That label really helped us get to where we are and we helped them to establish themselves as well... "coming full circle" and "making amends" are some of the phrases that we could throw around here but we think you get the picture already. Tony's passion for this project and his continued support of the band after all these years has helped to make this an easy decision.
We're really looking forward to this release. The DVD will be a retrospective of our band’s career so far(footage from the last nine years) with a ton of live stuff. Everyone always says we're much better live than on record-- now you can decide. The CD will have several new tracks(!) and some alternate versions and demos of older songs.” said “Thursday” in the press release.

Now, from those words, one might assume that this historic “reunion” (let's face it; not news on the scale of Pink Floyd or even the Cro-Mags burying the hatchet) might contain the foppish band and shaven-headed Brummel releasing a single of Kumbaya with an accompanying DVD video.

But one problem remains – Brummel is still speaking for everyone concerned. He wrote the press release himself, according to a label source, and engineered the “quotes” for all concerned in conjunction with the band's manager. Brummel did not even allow his own PR people to craft the release, he submitted it for distribution to them once he had completed it! Thus the band's manager manages to get his percentage for an album that would likely have been released with or without the band's consent.

The “new” Thursday album does not contain three “new songs” as implied, but rather three older unissued tracks, along with the usual assortment of odds-and-sods and demo versions. The advantages for the band are two-fold; re-reap some indie cred lost from jumping to a major (if anyone still cares about such a thing), and move enough units on the Soundscan charts to get back on the major-label radar. Atreyu's post-coital “Best of Atreyu” CD/DVD package released by Victory in January had moved a respectable 48,000 units through the end of April and made a respectable bow on the Soundscan Indie label chart.

Did the band even “re-sign” with Victory?

Probably not.

Brummel's standard artist contracts reserve the right for the label to reissue, repackage and compile anything recorded and submitted to the label. As such, the repackaging was already a foregone conclusion, especially given the fact that Victory has hit a cold snap in breaking bands in the last year or so (Aiden and Silverstein being the latest examples of large advertising campaign dollars being unmatched by CD sales) and that Brummel has reportedly and repeatedly put the label on the market for an extravagant sum.

And, even for the music industry, Brummel's megalomania is unmatched. As owner of the self-proclaimed "#1 Independent Label in the United States" he has had famous email exchanges with "peers" such as Lyor Cohen, Tom Whalley and even Apple's Steven Jobs, all of which were punctuated by "mysterious" leaks of the private conversations.

Label workers get to witness the full gamut of controlling (berating employees in marketing meetings for wearing apparel of non-Victory bands), bizarre (concocting a car-crash story, complete with simulated limp to explain an Ozzfest absence) and downright abusive (a female ex-employee filed a labor complaint after being called a "bitch" in front of the promotions staff) side of Brummel's personality.

So in other words, don't believe everything you read in a press release.

Even if, and especially when, it comes from the mouth of Tony Brummel.